Poor Jim. Waking up 90 years early on a space flight to a new planet, with only a third class ticket. Third class means no frills. Which means Jim is not even allowed a latte, just an ordinary coffee, FOR 90 LONG YEARS. I know, Instagram posts would drop by a third. Chris Pratt is Nice Jim… Passengers Read More
The Blade Runner 2049 trailer is here, 33 Years Ahead of Schedule
Someone put Deckard in charge of the Bill & Ted 3 / Constantine 2 movies, please! Though we have waited 34 years since the last Blade Runner. Harrison Ford is back as Deckard in the new film, with Ryan Gosling as LAPD Officer K. Blade Runner 2049 comes out on October 6, 2017 but the first… The Blade Runner 2049 trailer is here, 33 Years Ahead of Schedule Read More
Another day, another John Wick Chapter 2 trailer
John Wick is BACK!!! And just in time to ruin your Christmas party. John Wick trailers are like buses, none for ages then about three in a row (well, strictly speaking, looking at Wick’s mashed up face in the latest one, they’re like night buses going through a really dodgy part of Sarf London). See the 58th… Another day, another John Wick Chapter 2 trailer Read More
Nocturnal Animals 4 stars
Nocturnal Animals starts with several overweight, middle aged women dancing naked, and clearly enjoying themselves – soon the camera moves back and it becomes apparent that they are part of a gallery exhibition. It’s opening night and skinny young people dressed in black with champagne glasses are ignoring the exhibits as they chat, thereby demonstrating that middle-aged women… Nocturnal Animals Read More
Tremors 4 stars
If Tremors isn’t close to B-movie blueprint perfection I don’t know what is. Funny and silly, it includes many well-used tropes, but it’s also played straight by talented actors, with proper monsters. Who doesn’t love Kevin Bacon? He’s got a game invented about him (Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, as he’s worked with so many… Tremors Read More
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story 4 stars
OK despite the website title (cautionspoilers), and my name (Sarah Spoilers), I am going to give you a warning – POTENTIAL SPOILERS! I’m not aiming to, but sometimes I get carried away and I know just how into Star Wars people are, simply from the number of people on social media who disappeared for a week until they could… Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Read More
Neon Demon 3.5 stars
I’d heard amazing things about The Neon Demon (the jaw dropping cinematography, beauty as danger, and of course Keanu Reeves playing nasty) so I thought I’d better watch it in time for it to be No1 on my “Best films of 2016” list. And in the end I couldn’t decide whether it should go on that or my… Neon Demon Read More
Shallows, The 4 stars
The Shallows is a short, sharp shock of a film. It’s only 86 minutes long but anxiety and tension levels are turned up to the max once medical student Nancy has seen the shark that will become her nemesis. And dry land is always an enticingly short but desperately dangerous distance away. Nancy (Blake Lively) has travelled to a beach… Shallows, The Read More
Grimsby 3.5 stars
The US title is The Brothers Grimsby, though the brothers’ surname is not Grimsby. For the record, their surnames are Butcher and Graves, which sounds like a pair of 18th century serial killers. Or a modern day undertaker and abattoir worker who team up to fight crime in their spare time. (I would definitely watch… Grimsby Read More
Moana 4 stars
Moana sounds like a hyper realistic British TV spin-off about a barmaid from world’s most depressing soap “Eastenders” doesn’t it, but no – it’s Mo-Anna (though the Anna bit is pronounced in that weird Anna-from-Frozen way which sounds like Ah-Nah and leaves us Brits going “It’s short A followed by Na you fools!”) Moana is… Moana Read More
Office Christmas Party 3 stars
While by no means a Christmas turkey, this isn’t quite a Christmas cracker either, which is a shame considering the calibre of the cast – and the fact that at this time of year we’re often full of goodwill to whatever festive movie is released. It’s years since I went to an office Christmas party… Office Christmas Party Read More
Santa’s Soggy Bottom
Christmas Lookalikes: As if delivering a billion presents around the world on Christmas Eve wasn’t stressful enough, Steve Claus – militaristic son of Santa himself in Aardman’s animated Christmas caper “Arthur Christmas” – now has Paul Hollywood’s soggy bottom to contend with too.
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