I don’t think I’ve seen Liz Hurley in a movie since she played Vanessa “Fembot” Kensington in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, firing bullets out of her “machine gun jugglies”*. I guess after an iconic turn like that you have to think carefully about your next high profile acting gig. *Five minutes ago,… Christmas In The Caribbean: Liz Hurley starring in upcoming festive frolic Read More
Asymmetric bobs assemble! The trailer for A Christmas Karen is here…
…and she demands to see the manager, when she’s not stealing hot chocolate from children or knocking them off their bikes then threatening to sue them. Here’s the synopsis: A Christmas Karen centres on an entitled, egocentric middle-aged woman named Karen (Michele Simms, “Oversharing Mom” in the viral Carvana television commercials), whose demanding and inconsiderate nature has… Asymmetric bobs assemble! The trailer for A Christmas Karen is here… Read More
The Catfish Christmas trailer is here (what do you mean, “too soon”)
Listen, it’s only seven weeks TODAY until Christmas 2022, and you’re lucky I’m not telling you about Christmas 2023 (435 days, folks!). It’s never too soon, is what I’m saying. Catfish Christmas — a title I suspect was developed before the actual story, which is fine as I love alliteration as much as I love… The Catfish Christmas trailer is here (what do you mean, “too soon”) Read More
Silent Night 3.5 stars
Family and friends meet for one last Christmas, before the world ends. Coming in at a pacy hour and 30 minutes – a length many can only dream of when it comes to family Christmas dinners that feel like the end of the world — Silent Night bounces along until almost the end; beautiful, bitterly… Silent Night Read More
The last, Last Train To Christmas: that ending and how they get there
Two brothers, several bad decisions, and — thank god! — one happy ending. (Very spoilery. If you’re after my review, it’s here.) The film follows brothers Tony and Roger Towers, whose relationship is fraught with unresolved anger and sibling rivalry. When we first meet Tony, he is a successful provincial nightclub owner, revelling in ’80s… The last, Last Train To Christmas: that ending and how they get there Read More
Last Train To Christmas 3 stars
Nightclub owner Tony Towers, on a train with his fiancée on Christmas Eve 1985, sees how his life might have been if he had made different decisions along the way. The synopsis of Last Train To Christmas made it sound like a mash-up of A Christmas Carol, Snowpiercer, Sliding Doors and The Hitman And Her… Last Train To Christmas Read More
A Castle For Christmas: ending explained (wait, what?)
ENDING EXPLAINED? IN A NETFLIX CHRISTMAS ROMANCE MOVIE? Okay: They realise they’ve been stupid and admit they love each other, The End. The slightly longer version is here: Sophie and Myles finally become a couple thanks to Hamish the dog running off with her shoe when she’s trying on a black taffeta and tartan ball… A Castle For Christmas: ending explained (wait, what?) Read More
A Castle For Christmas 3 stars
An American author finds love when she travels to Scotland to visit the childhood home of her late father. It is a truth universally acknowledged that an impecunious British aristocrat with a freezing castle must be in want of a rich American wife, even if he doesn’t know it yet. In A Castle, A Castle,… A Castle For Christmas Read More
Verrily, thy ending: The Knight Before Christmas
Prepare for spoilers [twangs lute, plays Greensleeves in preparation] — or check out my review here. It’s Christmastime, and medieval knight Sir Cole Lyons meets a crone in a snowy forest while hawking. He wants to get her to shelter, and because of his kindness to her she tells him she is going to send… Verrily, thy ending: The Knight Before Christmas Read More
Home Sweet Home Alone 2 stars
A young boy is left alone over Christmas, while a couple try to steal back from him a valuable heirloom. I watched this and civilisation did not collapse. Great nations did not fall. Untranslatable ancient scrolls did not crumble to dust. Also, parts of it I actually quite enjoyed. When Home Sweet Home Alone was… Home Sweet Home Alone Read More
Boxing Day trailer: does true love triumph?
And who is Melvin actually in love with: Lisa or Georgia? We’ll have to wait until 3 December to find that out, though judging by this trailer the movie itself fulfils my strict but simple rules for a fantastic festive film. To stop me going all bah humbug on exhausted moviemakers, they need to provide… Boxing Day trailer: does true love triumph? Read More
Last Train To Christmas: The Hitman And Her meets A Christmas Carol meets Snowpiercer
*** Read my review and (very spoilery) article here *** Honestly, when I saw this photo I thought we ’80s kids were finally getting the Pepsi and Shirlie biopic we’d been hoping for. But no, that *is* Michael Sheen (The Twilight Saga, The Queen) and Nathalie Emmanuel (Game of Thrones, Fast & Furious 7) who have joined the cast of Last… Last Train To Christmas: The Hitman And Her meets A Christmas Carol meets Snowpiercer Read More
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