He knows when you are sleeping! (as if I’d be asleep). He knows when you’re awake! (hell yes). He knows when you’ve been bad or good (bad John, so very bad). So be good for goodness sake (I’ve been practising!). Come on, this is 2016, WORST YEAR ON RECORD, of course Santa turned out to be… OMG John Wick has killed Santa! Read More
Rare Exports – a Christmas Tale 4.5 stars
Don’t be fooled by the twinkly eyes, round tummy and red suit: “the real Santa was totally different. The Coca Cola Santa was just a hoax” relates little Pietari to his friend, as he explains what he’s discovered about the original Bad Santa. Unnerving, funny, and inventive, Rare Exports combines an off-the-wall premise with excellent… Rare Exports – a Christmas Tale Read More
Office Christmas Party 3 stars
While by no means a Christmas turkey, this isn’t quite a Christmas cracker either, which is a shame considering the calibre of the cast – and the fact that at this time of year we’re often full of goodwill to whatever festive movie is released. It’s years since I went to an office Christmas party… Office Christmas Party Read More
Santa’s Soggy Bottom
Christmas Lookalikes: As if delivering a billion presents around the world on Christmas Eve wasn’t stressful enough, Steve Claus – militaristic son of Santa himself in Aardman’s animated Christmas caper “Arthur Christmas” – now has Paul Hollywood’s soggy bottom to contend with too.
Black Christmas 4 stars
It’s nearly the end of term and the sorority students are finishing up with school and getting ready to head home for the holidays; though not everyone has a warm family to go back to. The brittle, heavy drinking Barb (Margot Kidder) is having difficult phone calls with her mother in the hall, in full… Black Christmas Read More
Ref, The 4 stars
A film so bleak even Krampus had to watch Elf immediately afterwards to bring back a little Christmas spirit into his life, The Ref performed poorly when it was released. Probably because it came out in March, rather than during Christmas when movie goers driven out of their own homes by bickering relatives might want to… Ref, The Read More
A Christmas Horror Story 4 stars
Bailey Downs is one of those towns you really, really want to keep away from. Bailey Downs had two horrific murders exactly one year ago in the high school basement. But worse than that, their nighttime DJ on their local radio station is William Shatner. Talk about bad chi in Bailey Downs. Like Albert Square… A Christmas Horror Story Read More
The Night Before 3.5 stars
All these ghosts appearing, from Christmases Past, Present and Future. The Night Before is a New York version of A Christmas Carol but with what Chris describes as “pseudo racist fake-ass acrylic sweaters”, trying to take off his obligatory Christmas jumper when an annual Christmas Eve night out starts disintegrating into recrimination and desperation. It’s… The Night Before Read More
Krampus 3.5 stars
Mislay your Christmas spirit and Krampus himself will come after you – helped by murderous elves, killer gingerbread men and terrifying toys. His name may sound like a branded paracetamol for period pain but actually it’s much more agonising than that, as this evil “Shadow of Christmas” punishes you for not being cheery enough. Talk about forcing jollity on… Krampus Read More