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Film reviews from a Rotten Tomatoes critic

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Allied 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

29th November 2016 by Sarah 1 Comment

The wedding was a quiet affair. Rationing was so strict you couldn't even say "cheese" without digging out a coupon

We’re in Casablanca in French Morocco and everyone is getting ready for the ambassador’s party. And it does seem like a lot of effort just for some vol-au-vents and a tray of Ferrero Rocher. Maybe there’s not much going on entertainment-wise in French Morocco, there is, after all, a war on. It’s 1942 and Max Vatan… Allied Read More

Filed Under: Film Reviews Tagged With: 1940s, blitz, casablanca, french morocco, german spy, spies, world war 2, ww2

A Christmas Horror Story 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

28th November 2016 by Sarah Leave a Comment

It was never easy coming up with something for the Strictly Come Dancing final but this Christmas they felt they'd nailed it

Bailey Downs is one of those towns you really, really want to keep away from. Bailey Downs had two horrific murders exactly one year ago in the high school basement. But worse than that, their nighttime DJ on their local radio station is William Shatner. Talk about bad chi in Bailey Downs. Like Albert Square… A Christmas Horror Story Read More

Filed Under: Christmas, Film Reviews Tagged With: Bailey Downs, changeling, christmas, christmas films, christmas horror, christmas movies, Dangerous Dan, hauntings, horror, horror films, horror movies, krampus, possession, Santa, xmas, zombie elves

The Night Before 3.5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

25th November 2016 by Sarah Leave a Comment

The 20th anniversary comeback tour - drink, women, and an intern whose only job was to pick out the blue ones from the superfood blueberries

All these ghosts appearing, from Christmases Past, Present and Future. The Night Before is a New York version of A Christmas Carol but with what Chris describes as “pseudo racist fake-ass acrylic sweaters”, trying to take off his obligatory Christmas jumper when an annual Christmas Eve night out starts disintegrating into recrimination and desperation. It’s… The Night Before Read More

Filed Under: Christmas, Film Reviews Tagged With: a christmas carol, christmas, christmas eve, christmas movies, drugs, nutcracker ball

Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

24th November 2016 by Sarah Leave a Comment

"Don't say ANYTHING!" hissed Tina. "It could be a plant!"

Hunt for the Niffler – if that’s not already the name of a Great American Rock Band it certainly should be. And if you ever meet a niffler you will fall in love with it, even as the little critter is stealing the gold necklace your granny left you. And that title. So much more evocative than the usual boring stuff about lemon drizzle… Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them Read More

Filed Under: Film Reviews Tagged With: alison sudol, auror, credence clearbone, dan fogler, eddie redmayne, fantastic beasts, fantastic beasts and where to find them, fantastic beasts review, film review, harry potter, hogwarts, jacob kowalski, jk rowling, katherine waterstone, MACUSA, movie review, new york, new york city, newt, newt scamander, niffler, no-maj, obscurus, Percival Graves, Queenie goldstein, Tine Goldstein

Krampus 3.5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

23rd November 2016 by Sarah Leave a Comment

By season 40 of Game of Thrones the women could still cut it but the men were starting to look a bit long in the tooth

Mislay your Christmas spirit and Krampus himself will come after you – helped by murderous elves, killer gingerbread men and terrifying toys. His name may sound like a branded paracetamol for period pain but actually it’s much more agonising than that, as this evil “Shadow of Christmas” punishes you for not being cheery enough. Talk about forcing jollity on… Krampus Read More

Filed Under: Christmas, Film Reviews Tagged With: christmas, christmas spirit, elves, folklore, german folklore, krampus

The Babadook 4.5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

22nd November 2016 by Sarah Leave a Comment

It was pretty much accepted that 2016 had been a disaster but the "new realism" cracker jokes weren't helping

As six year old Samuel’s doctor says, “all children see monsters”. Or hear them, under the bed and on the stairs. It’s a response to something they can’t control, and a way of making sense of big events in their lives. Most aren’t stalked through the darkness by a terrifying black hatted figure who wants… The Babadook Read More

Filed Under: Film Reviews Tagged With: babadook, bereavement, grief, psychological horror

Big Hero 6 4.5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

21st November 2016 by Sarah Leave a Comment

it was back to the drawing board after focus group feedback on the initial Terminator prototype

I took my two boys to see Big Hero 6 at the kids’ club cinema this weekend and we all loved it. It’s funny, touching, sad, exciting, and beautifully animated. I love films that create a world that is still partly recognisable and San Fransokyo is exactly that. Yes I know Big Hero 6 came out two years ago… Big Hero 6 Read More

Filed Under: Film Reviews Tagged With: alastair krei, aunt cass, baymax, big hero 6, fred, gogo, hero, hiro hamada, honey lemon, institute of technology, microbots, professor callaghan, San Fransokyo, superheroes, tadashi, wasabi

A Street Cat Named Bob 3 stars☆☆☆☆☆

18th November 2016 by Sarah Leave a Comment

Bob was finding that the "so you are a natural ginger" jokes about his naked selfies were starting to wear as bit thin

Based on the international best selling book. The true feel good story of how James Bowen, a busker and recovering drug addict, had his life transformed when he met a stray ginger cat. *** Read my review of the sequel, A Christmas Gift From Bob *** Based on a true story about a young man’s… A Street Cat Named Bob Read More

Filed Under: Film Reviews Tagged With: cats, covent garden, ginger tom

American Pastoral 2.5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

16th November 2016 by Sarah 1 Comment

Robot Maid Version 2.0 (plus facial expressions booster pack) couldn't believe the profanity it was forced to listen to during family rows

An All-American college star and his beauty queen wife watch their seemingly perfect life fall apart as their daughter joins the turmoil of ’60s America. I don’t often pick up Great American Novels. Mainly because they’re so heavy and I can’t risk putting my back out. They’re like bricks. You could build a new America… American Pastoral Read More

Filed Under: Film Reviews Tagged With: 1060s, american novel, american pastoral, bombings, dakota fanning, ewan mcgregor, family, family breakdown, great american novel, jennifer connelly, philip roth, riots, vietnam war

Breakfast Club 3.5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

15th November 2016 by Sarah 2 Comments

The Brain, the Athlete, the Basketcase, the Princess and the Criminal. The new version of Cluedo where they all just stayed in the library the whole time wasn't looking too promising

I like to think of Breakfast Club as happening a few hours before Fight Club, a place where everyone gets all the talking they can’t do about Fight Club out of their system, as all anyone seems to do on Breakfast Club – apart from a brief interlude dancing round the study hall to “We… Breakfast Club Read More

Filed Under: Film Reviews Tagged With: 80s films, 80s movies, ally sheedy, anthony michael hall, brat pack, breakfast club, emilio estevez, high school, john hughes, john hughes film, judd nelson, makeover, molly ringwald, rich girl, saturday detention, the breakfast club

Arrival 5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

14th November 2016 by Sarah 1 Comment

Warning: slightly spoilery. Arrival is challenging yet comforting science fiction and frankly it’s about time. And language – Captain Cook, keen to know the name of the bouncy animal with the pouch, asked a group of Aborigines. Kangaroo they replied, and so it became, though actually kangaroo turned out to simply mean “I don’t know”…. Arrival Read More

Filed Under: Film Reviews

Movie 43 1 stars☆☆☆☆☆

12th November 2016 by Sarah Leave a Comment

The producers were starting to regret getting Gerry out of retirement for one last Mike Banning movie

The worst film ever made. That’s what Movie 43 is known as. Which I think is unfair as it isn’t the very worst film ever made. (I can say that with some authority as I’ve seen Home Alone 4). It is bad though. A collection of 15 shortish sketches, the US version released in cinemas… Movie 43 Read More

Filed Under: Film Reviews Tagged With: first date, home schooling, hugh jackman, leprechaun, sketch movie, worst movie ever, worst movie ever made

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ABOUT ME

Rotten Tomatoes-approved critic, John Wick lover and Gerard Butler apologist. Still waiting for Mike Banning vs John Wick: Requiem

Site info here.

Reviews

Dangerous Animals 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

Chum 2 stars☆☆☆☆☆

The Odyssey 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

The Magic Faraway Tree 3 stars☆☆☆☆☆

“Wuthering Heights” 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple 4.5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

The Housemaid 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

Rope 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

The Naked Gun 4.5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

The Roses 3 stars☆☆☆☆☆

Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale 3 stars☆☆☆☆☆

Jurassic World: Rebirth 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

28 Years Later 5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

Fire Of Love 3.5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

ClearMind 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

Alien: Romulus 4 stars☆☆☆☆☆

Better Man 4.5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

Monty Python & The Holy Grail 5 stars☆☆☆☆☆

Madame Web 2 stars☆☆☆☆☆

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