If your children aren’t sure about a trip to the cinema to watch Trolls this Halloween half-term, just say these few words to them. No, not “I See Dead People”, but “They Poo Cupcakes”. Look I’m the first to admit I’m the very worst kind of British cynic, dropping what I think are darkly droll bon-mots from the sidelines… Trolls 3D Read More
One Never Had Any Bill Money And One Is Bill Murray
One of these repeatedly made the same mistakes in his private life day after day. And the other is Bill Murray, star of Groundhog Day. And the other is Bill Murray, star of Groundhog Day.
Gods of Egypt 2.5 stars
Eight foot tall. Gold blooded. Goddess-shagger. Scottish. To be honest this is how I’ve always imagined Gerard Butler in real life. Though I’d probably draw the line at referring to him as God of Darkness – I’ve never been to Paisley, his home town, but it can’t be that bad. But in Gods of Middle England, Sorry,… Gods of Egypt Read More
Jack Reacher – Never Go Back 3.5 stars
I was looking forward to this film as the subheading to my life as a mum is Never Go Back, usually after my kids have done something considered unspeakable by polite society in a delightful local teashop involving a homemade scone and a milk jug. And I was only slightly disappointed. Edward Zwick’s film is not going to win… Jack Reacher – Never Go Back Read More
New Logan Trailer And It’s SAD
Wow the new Logan trailer just dropped (I know, mind that mess on the floor) – and it’s ACE. Sad and worldweary and not what you’re expecting if you see a lot of superhero blockbusters. Logan is going to be Jackman’s final Wolverine film and in this trailer he’s caring for an ailing Professor X,… New Logan Trailer And It’s SAD Read More
The Whole Truth Out Tomorrow
Can’t wait until next February’s John Wick Chapter 2 for your next Keanu movie dose? I feel your pain. Luckily he’s got a new movie out THIS WEEK – “in theaters and on demand” as they say Stateside. (Over in the UK whenever I hear theatres, even in relation to movies, I imagine people striding… The Whole Truth Out Tomorrow Read More
Everyone’s Favourite Allotment Assassin Is Back & The Radishes Are Revolting
Fantastic news! There’s a new film thriller in the works involving: – cute animals being killed – a morally ambivalent protagonist – some hoes. No not John Wick 3, Peter Rabbit. I’ve done some digging and found out that Domhnall Gleeson is now lined up to play Mr McGregor, with Rose Byrne, James Corden and Daisy Ridley also in… Everyone’s Favourite Allotment Assassin Is Back & The Radishes Are Revolting Read More
Inferno 2 stars
“Abandon all hope…” says a character early on in Ron Howard’s Inferno, quoting Dante’s, er, Inferno. And now I know exactly what they meant. Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks), a world renowned Dante scholar who at one point in this film still needs Dante to be explained to him by glamorous prodigy Dr Sienna Brooks (Felicity… Inferno Read More
Money Monster 3.5 stars
Confirmation bias after shelling out a hefty 14 quid to download the movie? Lust for George Clooney? Very possibly – but I actually really enjoyed Money Monster. It’s too long, but then what films aren’t nowadays apart from schlocky horrors where they have to keep the running time to under 90 minutes to pay for a couple of blood-covered animatronic monsters… Money Monster Read More
Girl With All The Gifts 4 stars
I love zombie movies set in the UK, as there’s something warm and safe about seeing the undead standing round aimlessly in shopping centres that I know really well. Maybe because allegories about the over-commercialisation of society are more easily understood if they’re trying to eat a Greggs pasty before their decaying arm falls off. It’s no exaggeration… Girl With All The Gifts Read More
The Girl On The Train 3.5 stars
According to friends of mine who attend book clubs, I’m the only woman left not to have not read Paula Hawkins’ novel on which this film is based, which means you will be spared all that tutting when it veers away slightly from the novel and, for example, poor Rachel is wearing a grey frumpy… The Girl On The Train Read More
John Wick 3 Is A Goer And He Probably Shoots People
It’s been a whole two days since the last John Wick news when the trailer for John Wick Chapter 2 dropped at New York Comic Con, and I know we were all starting to get withdrawal symptoms. There’s now been confirmation from director Chad Stahelski that John Wick (Chapter) 3 is on the way, with… John Wick 3 Is A Goer And He Probably Shoots People Read More
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