“Think of the one place you’ve always wanted to see” says the Beast to Belle, as he shows her a magic book of the world in his incredible library – and off they go to plague-ridden Paris, which wouldn’t be my choice for a free holiday of a lifetime with a gazillionaire prince, especially an ugly one, but there you… Beauty And The Beast (2D) Read More
Lion 4.5 stars
“Did you REALLY look for my mum?” asks little Saroo, in an orphanage in Calcutta, sitting opposite Mrs Sood, a kind but firm woman charged with finding new homes overseas for unclaimed children. “I looked everywhere”, she replies. And with that, Saroo has to move on to a new family far away in Tasmania, while acknowledging that his mum… Lion Read More
Moana 4 stars
Moana sounds like a hyper realistic British TV spin-off about a barmaid from world’s most depressing soap “Eastenders” doesn’t it, but no – it’s Mo-Anna (though the Anna bit is pronounced in that weird Anna-from-Frozen way which sounds like Ah-Nah and leaves us Brits going “It’s short A followed by Na you fools!”) Moana is… Moana Read More
Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them 4 stars
Hunt for the Niffler – if that’s not already the name of a Great American Rock Band it certainly should be. And if you ever meet a niffler you will fall in love with it, even as the little critter is stealing the gold necklace your granny left you. And that title. So much more evocative than the usual boring stuff about lemon drizzle… Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them Read More
Hey I Made It To 50!!
No not me, you weirdos – the number of film reviews on here!! This film reviews site has only been up a couple of months and I’m now up to 50 reviews of full length feature films (plus a few shorts too). All of them written by me! In fact everything on this film reviews… Hey I Made It To 50!! Read More
Money Monster 3.5 stars
Confirmation bias after shelling out a hefty 14 quid to download the movie? Lust for George Clooney? Very possibly – but I actually really enjoyed Money Monster. It’s too long, but then what films aren’t nowadays apart from schlocky horrors where they have to keep the running time to under 90 minutes to pay for a couple of blood-covered animatronic monsters… Money Monster Read More
Anthropoid 4 stars
As Czech resistance fighters Josef and Jan try to locate their contact from the raggle-taggle remnants of the Czech Resistance, the constant low level terror at being found out or betrayed to the Gestapo is palpable. Nervousness skitters through every meeting as they all try to work out who can or cannot be trusted. Everyone is a… Anthropoid Read More
Hail Caesar! 3 stars
Ok So I’ve now seen “Hail Clooney”, the new Coen Brothers film starring Julius Caesar. What can I say! Well if you think this review is a bit disjointed and not as good as you’re expecting that’s because I’m writing it in the style of the film. Oh god oh god oh god. I so wanted to… Hail Caesar! Read More
Bigger Splash 3 stars
The buzz around this film promised so much but like the worst kind of lover, it over-commits and under-delivers. It’s 2 hours long when it should be 90 minutes, and by the end even the regulation nudity and shagging can’t stop you looking at your watch. And frankly my spending £10 for two hours of rich attractive people… Bigger Splash Read More
Nim’s Island 3.5 stars
I will be eternally grateful to Nim’s Island as it meant an afternoon not watching my children’s current fave, “Home Alone 4”, a movie which does for family franchises what Hannibal Lector did for Chianti sales. Set on a remote South Pacific island, Gerard Butler plays Jack Rusoe (Ja… Crusoe, geddit? No? Oh well), a widowed… Nim’s Island Read More
Swallows and Amazons 4 stars
In the UK in the 1970s you really had to make your own fun, so a source of particular joy for children was sniggering at bedtime while one’s mother read aloud the exploits of the brilliantly named children Titty and Roger in Arthur Ransome’s classic tale of Lake District derring do. Sadly, though Roger remains… Swallows and Amazons Read More
Crimson Peak 4 stars
I’m a wuss when it comes to horror movies, but like the slasher film victim who just has to check out the scary noise in that basement while trying on bikinis when the power lines are down, I can’t stay away. I thought Crimson Peak wouldn’t be too bad to watch alone – it sounds… Crimson Peak Read More