As the voiceover says early on in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, “keep your swords as sharp as your wits. As the ultimate battle between the living and the undead has yet to be staged.” The beauty of a Jane Austen / zombie mashup is that you know exactly what’s going to happen in both genres,… Pride And Prejudice And Zombies Read More
Search Results for: fast 9
Silent Running 4 stars
Scifi purists look away now, because the reason I didn’t watch Silent Running for years was because I kept getting it mixed up with Logan’s Run, where Jenny Agutter lives in a world where people are only allowed to live until they’re 30. It’s a fun film to watch in your youth but as you can imagine at… Silent Running Read More
My Worst Films of 2016 But Not Including Gods of Egypt Because It’s Suffered Enough
Luckily for me I love a bad film. Most of these weren’t awful (Home Alone 4 will always be my line-in-the-sand for cinematic awfulness) but they were, in some way, disappointing. And it cost me ten quid to see each one. 1. Batman v Superman – Dawn of Justice BVS sounds like a yeast infection doesn’t it. I’m guessing watching… My Worst Films of 2016 But Not Including Gods of Egypt Because It’s Suffered Enough Read More
“Drowned In Moonlight, Strangled By My Own Bra” – RIP Carrie Fisher
Carrie Fisher has died aged 60. Lots of people are remembering her as Princess Leia, General Organa, but she was also a hugely influential mental health activist, a successful script doctor and a brilliantly funny and insightful author. Star Wars rather passed me by when it came out, then in the 1980s anything 70s seemed hideously… “Drowned In Moonlight, Strangled By My Own Bra” – RIP Carrie Fisher Read More
Passengers 2.5 stars
Poor Jim. Waking up 90 years early on a space flight to a new planet, with only a third class ticket. Third class means no frills. Which means Jim is not even allowed a latte, just an ordinary coffee, FOR 90 LONG YEARS. I know, Instagram posts would drop by a third. Chris Pratt is Nice Jim… Passengers Read More
Moana 4 stars
Moana sounds like a hyper realistic British TV spin-off about a barmaid from world’s most depressing soap “Eastenders” doesn’t it, but no – it’s Mo-Anna (though the Anna bit is pronounced in that weird Anna-from-Frozen way which sounds like Ah-Nah and leaves us Brits going “It’s short A followed by Na you fools!”) Moana is… Moana Read More
Allied 4 stars
We’re in Casablanca in French Morocco and everyone is getting ready for the ambassador’s party. And it does seem like a lot of effort just for some vol-au-vents and a tray of Ferrero Rocher. Maybe there’s not much going on entertainment-wise in French Morocco, there is, after all, a war on. It’s 1942 and Max Vatan… Allied Read More
Big Hero 6 4.5 stars
I took my two boys to see Big Hero 6 at the kids’ club cinema this weekend and we all loved it. It’s funny, touching, sad, exciting, and beautifully animated. I love films that create a world that is still partly recognisable and San Fransokyo is exactly that. Yes I know Big Hero 6 came out two years ago… Big Hero 6 Read More
Gods of Egypt 2.5 stars
Eight foot tall. Gold blooded. Goddess-shagger. Scottish. To be honest this is how I’ve always imagined Gerard Butler in real life. Though I’d probably draw the line at referring to him as God of Darkness – I’ve never been to Paisley, his home town, but it can’t be that bad. But in Gods of Middle England, Sorry,… Gods of Egypt Read More
Inferno 2 stars
“Abandon all hope…” says a character early on in Ron Howard’s Inferno, quoting Dante’s, er, Inferno. And now I know exactly what they meant. Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks), a world renowned Dante scholar who at one point in this film still needs Dante to be explained to him by glamorous prodigy Dr Sienna Brooks (Felicity… Inferno Read More
BFG, The 3.5 stars
This film made a big impression on my 7 year old, although not without the odd misunderstanding – as I realised when he insisted to me that at the end the Queen had actually adopted the little heroine Sophie, as “Sophie called her Mam”. (It helps to have some northern DNA to truly appreciate that joke.) The best jokes… BFG, The Read More
A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night 4 stars
How refreshing to find a film about a girl walking home alone at night that doesn’t turn out to be (a) a rape revenge porno-for-nice-people flick, or (b) a rape revenge porno-for-creepy-people flick (the difference between these two sub-genres being usually determined in minor film festival award wins). Even if this girl bites necks (and… A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night Read More