How refreshing to find a film about a girl walking home alone at night that doesn’t turn out to be (a) a rape revenge porno-for-nice-people flick, or (b) a rape revenge porno-for-creepy-people flick (the difference between these two sub-genres being usually determined in minor film festival award wins). Even if this girl bites necks (and… A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night Read More
Hail Caesar! 3 stars
Ok So I’ve now seen “Hail Clooney”, the new Coen Brothers film starring Julius Caesar. What can I say! Well if you think this review is a bit disjointed and not as good as you’re expecting that’s because I’m writing it in the style of the film. Oh god oh god oh god. I so wanted to… Hail Caesar! Read More
10 Cloverfield Lane 4.5 stars
This is a great film that demonstrates that even during an alien invasion you still have to worry about perverts and murderers. But which is worse? Michelle is urgently packing a bag as she leaves the flat she shares with her fiancé Ben. I’m always impressed with women urgently packing in films – they grab a… 10 Cloverfield Lane Read More
Bigger Splash 3 stars
The buzz around this film promised so much but like the worst kind of lover, it over-commits and under-delivers. It’s 2 hours long when it should be 90 minutes, and by the end even the regulation nudity and shagging can’t stop you looking at your watch. And frankly my spending £10 for two hours of rich attractive people… Bigger Splash Read More
300 4 stars
“Relate this tale of victory” says Leonidas, King of Sparta, to Dillios (David Wenham), a soldier in his army who is heading back to Sparta, as the king faces certain death against the Persians. Moving and inspiring you might think, but also a great bit of spin doctoring, considering they lost. Although to be fair… 300 Read More
Eddie the Eagle 4 stars
The last snowy film I saw was the misery-fest known as The Revenant so it was with some trepidation that I ventured out to watch Eddie the Eagle. Luckily Eddie is a gloriously feel good film in which no one gets abused by a bear, and which will make you proud to be a plucky… Eddie the Eagle Read More
Chasing Mavericks 3.5 stars
Man needs an opponent, and nature can often fill that void. Like volcanos, tornados and other freaks of nature and weather, giant waves seem to acquire a life of their own, a sort of anti-humanity on which we can hang our battles with them, that force us to be humble or punish our hubris. But… Chasing Mavericks Read More
Intern, The 3 stars
You can see why companies want retired interns – with their final salary pensions they’re the only people who can afford to work unpaid in New York. The Intern reminded me of those couples who have been married for decades even though one is a Guardian reader and the other devours the Daily Mail, in its constant attempts… Intern, The Read More
Chain Reaction 2.5 stars
This is a 1996 film with a plot that wifi has rendered rather obsolete, a bit Like Home Alone which would never have worked if we’d had mobile phones. It’s about two very attractive people running away hand in hand from ugly people in the snow, I mean a scientific team discovering how to produce clean energy… Chain Reaction Read More
John Wick 5 stars
John Wick quickly lures you into its strange and self-contained world of murders-for-money, justified with an ambiguous sheen of honour. Its violence is repetitive yet compelling, the gunshots and stabbings almost hypnotic, as retired hitman John Wick and his old gangland boss Viggo Tarasov (Michael Nyqvist) face and chase each other across New York with an… John Wick Read More
Reign of Fire 3.5 stars
This is a cautionary tale about being careful what you wish for – in this case, an extended London Underground, where digging disturbs a creature left down there for centuries. And I’m talking a giant dragon, not some poor 16th century commuter desperate to get back to his olde hovel in Southwark. Reign Of Fire… Reign of Fire Read More
Nim’s Island 3.5 stars
I will be eternally grateful to Nim’s Island as it meant an afternoon not watching my children’s current fave, “Home Alone 4”, a movie which does for family franchises what Hannibal Lector did for Chianti sales. Set on a remote South Pacific island, Gerard Butler plays Jack Rusoe (Ja… Crusoe, geddit? No? Oh well), a widowed… Nim’s Island Read More