Golden Globes: more frocks than shocks

The Golden Globes took place last night, though I couldn’t find any way to watch them from the UK so I just critiqued the dresses online instead, and as it’s now 2020 I’m simply going to assume that every single one had pockets.

It was therefore vaguely exciting waking up this morning to find out who won, even if I’ll have forgotten by tomorrow.

This was the year of puffy short sleeves, which was good planning when you see there was soup on the menu. And not just any soup – soup planted (see what I did there) by VEGAN EXTREMISTS. Ricky Gervais hosted for the fifth time, and I did like his gag about The Irishman clip.

The Golden Globes awards are run and voted for by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA), a small organisation with only around 90 members: journalists and photographers reporting on US entertainment news for mostly non-US outlets.

They often throw up some odd choices, and that’s before you get to what they think constitutes a “comedy or musical” (The Martian a few years ago, apparently, though to be fair it did have Matt Damon wiggling his naked bottom to disco music, which was both funny and musical).

Still, the more awards there are, the more chance for people to be recognised who might not otherwise be, and it means more dresses, even if that’s not very sustainable, environment-wise.

I know it gets more column inches to wear a ballgown made out of old coke cans to prove your recycling credentials rather than just wearing an expensive designer frock twice, but maybe they could swap them around a bit, and at the Oscars we could have JLo in Cynthia Erivo’s gorgeous sequinned number, Charlize Theron in Fleabag’s sparkly dinner suit, and Her Royal Highness Helen Mirren in Billy Porter’s incredible suit and feathered train. It’s not as if most of them aren’t exactly the same weeny size.

Okay – so, the winners! I’m focussing on movies only, as though the Golden Globe awards film and TV I hardly get the chance to watch the goggle box unless it’s The Thundermans with my children (which I have to say is growing on me). Though I have seen the first episode of Fleabag, and the first two episodes of Game Of Thrones which were all boobs and beheadings (that’s GoT not Fleabag, unless it gets considerably darker during series 2).

There weren’t too many surprises last night, though The Irishman went home award-less. I’m delighted Taron Egerton won best actor in his category – he’s campaigned hard and with great charm, and Rocketman (which I think is fabulous) seemed to have slipped from people’s minds.

I’m sad neither Jonathan Pryce nor Anthony Hopkins won for the excellent The Two Popes – no I didn’t think watching two elderly white men walk around chatting for two hours would be good either – though I suppose retribution will come when the HFPA voters get to the Pearly Gates.

You can check out winners and also-rans, sorry, I mean nominees, below.

Best motion picture: drama

1917 (winner)
The Two Popes
Marriage Story
Joker
The Irishman

Best motion picture: musical or comedy

Once Upon A Time…In Hollywood (winner)
Jojo Rabbit
Dolemite Is My Name
Rocketman
Knives Out

Best performance by an actress in a motion picture: drama

Renee Zellweger, Judy (winner)
Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
Cynthia Erivo, Harriet
Charlize Theron, Bombshell
Saoirse Ronan, Little Women

Best performance by an actor in a motion picture: drama

Joaquin Phoenix, Joker (winner)
Antonio Banderas, Pain & Glory
Jonathan Price, The Two Popes
Adam Driver, Marriage Story
Christian Bale, Ford v Ferrari / LeMans ’66

Best performance by an actress in a motion picture: musical or comedy

Awkwafina, The Farewell (winner)
Emma Thompson, Late Night
Cate Blanchett, Where’d You Go, Bernadette
Ana de Armas, Knives Out
Beanie Feldstein, Booksmart

Best performance by an actor in a motion picture: musical or comedy

Taron Egerton, Rocketman (winner)
Roman Griffin Davis, Jojo Rabbit
Daniel Craig, Knives Out
Eddie Murphy, Dolomite Is My Name
Leonardo DiCaprio, Once Upon A Time…In Hollywood

Best performance by an actress in a supporting role in any motion picture

Laura Dern, Marriage Story (winner)
Kathy Bates, Richard Jewell
Margot Robbie, Bombshell
Annette Bening, The Report
Jennifer Lopez, Hustlers

Best performance by an actor in a supporting role in any motion picture

Brad Pitt, Once Upon A Time…In Hollywood (winner)
Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day In The Neighbourhood
Al Pacino, The Irishman
Joe Pesci, The Irishman
Anthony Hopkins, The Two Popes

Best director, motion picture

Sam Mendes, 1917 (winner)
Bong Joon Ho, Parasite
Todd Phillips, Joker
Quentin Tarantino, Once Uon A Time…In Hollywood
Martin Scorsese, The Irishman

Best screenplay, motion picture

Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon A Time…In Hollywood (winner)
Bong Joon Ho & Han Jin Won, Parasite
Anthony McCarten, The Two Popes
Steven Zaillian, The Irishman

Best motion picture, animated

Missing Link (winner)
Frozen II
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
Toy Story 4
The Lion King

Best motion picture, foreign language

Parasite (winner)
The Farewell
Pain & Glory
Portrait Of A Lady On Fire
Les Misérables

Best original score: motion picture

Hildur Guðnadóttir, Joker (winner)
Randy Newman, Marriage Story
Alexandre Desplat, Little Women
Daniel Pemberton, Motherless Brooklyn
Thomas Newman, 1917

Best original song: motion picture

I’m Gonna Love Me Again, Elton John & Bernie Taupin – Rocketman (winner)
Beautiful Ghosts. Andrew Lloyd Webber & Taylor Swift – Cats
Into the Unknown. Kristen Anderson Lopez & Robert Lopez – Frozen II
Stand Up. Joshuah Brian Campbell & Cynthia Erivo – Harriet
Spirit. Timothy McKenzie, Ilya Salmanzadeh, Beyoncé – The Lion King

Cecil B deMille Award

Tom Hanks (This is an honorary Golden Globe for “outstanding contributions to the world of entertainment”, given to those working in film. Its TV equivalent is the Carol Burnett Award which this year was given to Ellen DeGeneres).