The most fascinating person in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is Franklin, a disabled man confined to a wheelchair. Horror films often put all their character-building into the final girl, and ignore the rest as mere fodder. But here Franklin (Paul A Partain) held my attention more, ironically because his vulnerabilities force him to mimic the ways that women… Texas Chain Saw Massacre Read More
Dogged 3 stars
Read my interview with Dogged director Richard Rowntree here. At the end of Dogged, its definition – “having or showing tenacity and grim persistence” – pops up, by which time it’s finally clear who the title is referring to. Though as the director of this very low budget full-length feature, Dogged is certainly a word that also applies to Richard… Dogged Read More
Raw 4 stars
“I am hungry though my stomach always feels empty” says new student Justine as a doctor, treating her red, blistering rash, tells her to fast for a day after a bout of food poisoning. There’s an old saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and you could argue the same about… Raw Read More
What We Do In The Shadows 5 stars
Immortality can’t all be glamorous cloak-swishing nights out or chases pursued by 15th century pitchfork-waving villagers. At some point someone has to sort out the recycling and wash up the blood-spattered plates. Mockumentaries rarely get it completely right. Balancing out the laughs with situations that could actually be real, and which also propel the story forward,… What We Do In The Shadows Read More
Eden Lake 4 stars
We really don’t know what to do with children, who once out of toddlerhood seem to be seen as either angelic victims or nasty feral thugs. In Eden Lake it’s the latter, where little terrors have grown up to terrorise. It’s a film I’ve been both meaning to see and trying to avoid for nearly a decade… Eden Lake Read More
The Thing (2011 Prequel) 3 stars
As soon as the Americans started exploring the burnt out Norwegian research station in The Thing (1982) I was desperate for a prequel to find out what happened to our Scandi friends. (I demand prequels a lot. I’m still desperate for John Wick: The Prologue. But more than that, I want to find out all about the wheeler-dealing… The Thing (2011 Prequel) Read More
The Thing (1982) 4 stars
John Carpenter’s The Thing has everything – physical isolation in an antarctic scientific base, failed communication channels, a coming storm (literal and metaphorical), psychological horror as the threat grows and established friendships crumble, and really, really disgusting monsters that I couldn’t take my eyes off. There is a delightful yuck factor to The Thing’s Things. (That is… The Thing (1982) Read More
Get Out 4.5 stars
I was so stressed after watching Get Out I wanted to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea and a cigarette, but then I remembered the plot and had to settle for just the cup of tea. As a Brit I’m used to tea being the answer to pretty much everything, the balm that… Get Out Read More
Happy Friday the 13th!
Obviously by happy I don’t actually mean happy. It is Friday the 13th after all. Just make sure you don’t slip over on the ice today perusing my website, and break your neck. Oh.
Because Christmas IS All About FAAAMLEEE
Hey Krampus! I’ve found you a lovely wife to “lock horns” with! Everyone needs someone to love during the festive season, and maybe this will stop you looming up trying to ruin people’s Christmases by dragging them to Hell, when quite often they haven’t actually done much wrong. (You didn’t drag off Stalin, or Pol… Because Christmas IS All About FAAAMLEEE Read More
A Christmas Horror Story 4 stars
Bailey Downs is one of those towns you really, really want to keep away from. Bailey Downs had two horrific murders exactly one year ago in the high school basement. But worse than that, their nighttime DJ on their local radio station is William Shatner. Talk about bad chi in Bailey Downs. Like Albert Square… A Christmas Horror Story Read More
Zombeavers 3 stars
When I tire of big screen blockbusters, shark films, or Brit romcoms starring Colin Firth looking awkward, I yearn for something a little more highbrow, something intellectual -something, dare I say, art house? Maybe in French, with subtitles, and smoking. These times are not when I watch Zombeavers. But sometimes, only “Zombeavers” will do. What’s not to love? It’s got cute furry critters,… Zombeavers Read More
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