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You are here: Home / Re-caps (spoiler warning!) / The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard: it’s all about family

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard: it’s all about family

29th June 2021 by Sarah Leave a Comment

Warning: spoilers ahoy (when I could work out what was going on, anyway) My 2/5 review is here

First of all, it turns out Darius had not asked Sonia to get Michael Bryce to help spring him from his Mafia captors. What he’d actually said was “Anyone but Michael Bryce”.

Morgan Freeman plays Michael’s stepdad, Michael Bryce Snr. “The greatest bodyguard whoever lived” married Michael’s mother, and after she died in a freak fairground accident looked after Michael. He is scathing about Michael’s “safety first” approach to security though, and later turns out to be less invested in family than Michael Jnr.

It’s revealed that Sonia and Aristotle have previously had a relationship. They were a couple, but then conwoman Sonia “fell” off Aristotle’s yacht while wearing a valuable necklace he had bought her. Reconnecting now, she tells him the fall caused amnesia, and pretends to ditch Darius for Aristotle (a ruse so she can spy on him).

Aristotle pretends to believe Sonia in return, but later holds her captive, pointing out he too has seen the film Overboard. He takes her with him as a captive to the trench in the ocean where he is going to drill into the data junction. Sonia will be forced to watch Europe burn before being dumped at sea.

We already know that Darius and Sonia want a baby but nothing has been happening. Darius has been spotted at a fertility clinic, and Aristotle assumes from this news that Sonia is infertile. It turns out to be Darius who has fertility issues — he was shot in the nuts on a job (by Michael!), just after Darius killed Michael’s client Mr Kurosawa (the incident which led directly to Michael losing his AAA protection officer status).

Michael discovers his father has actually been working for Aristotle, as his head of security. Michael Snr has also spoken to the review board to ensure Michael Jnr is now banned for life from triple A status.

Darius works on Michael to be more confident and take more risks. “You ARE Future Michael, motherfucker!” he tells Michael encouragingly, then gets Michael to repeat “I’m unlicensed and I don’t give a fuck!”

Embarrassing parent alert

Near the end, with Sonia held by Aristotle and the virus about to be unleashed into the European data junction under the sea, Interpol don’t have time to get a warrant for Aristotle. Darius and Michael want to take him down — initially they get two security men to act as decoys for them, before boarding Aristotle’s yacht themselves. They and Sonia fight Aristotle, Michael Snr, and various hitmen and security guards.

Michael Snr and Aristotle are killed. Before he dies, Michael Snr admits many of his bodyguarding exploits in his books were made up, and designed to boost sales. He even wears Kevlar, something he mocked his safety-conscious son for. He tells his son that the virus can’t be switched off, and in fact the system has been booby-trapped to explode the boat if anyone tries to power it down. Michael Jnr stops the virus download then runs through the boat warning Darius and Sonia that they need to get out — all three jump off the boat into the sea and somehow survive the massive explosion.

Back on the dock, Interpol agent O’Neill tells the three they have to live on a yacht for 24 hours until all the paperwork is sorted out. He gives Michael some papers to sign, which Michael assumes are about the return of his AAA rating. They are actually adoption papers — Michael is now legally Sonia and Darius’s son, a surprise both to him and Darius.

The mid-credits scene has O’Neill leaving a message on Michael’s voicemail, that they need to stay on the boat for at least another month. Michael, who is left driving the boat while his adoptive “parents” have sex down below, jumps into the sea.

Read my 2/5 review of The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard.

Filed Under: Re-caps (spoiler warning!) Tagged With: AAA, comedy, ryan reynolds, salma hayek, samuel l jackson, sequel, the hitmans wifes bodyguard

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Rotten Tomatoes-approved critic, John Wick lover and Gerard Butler apologist. Still waiting for Mike Banning vs John Wick: Requiem

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