Never let a mother hear you call her baby ugly. Like elephants, we never forget. Poor Dumbo (though at this point he’s just known as Baby Jumbo) is a disappointment when he’s born, looks-wise. Maximilian Medici, owner-ringmaster of the Medici Brothers Circus, is expecting the little elephant to make him a fortune, but those enormous… Dumbo (2D) Read More
How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World 4 stars
Children’s films always need to keep the parents interested too and How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World certainly has something that’ll please a lot of mums. Yes, Hiccup grows a beard – and my god he’s hot. Imagine John Krasinski in A Quiet Place crossed with one of the Chrises (I can’t remember… How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World Read More
Velvet Buzzsaw 3.5 stars
Art See Devil is the suitably overblown anagram I managed to get out of Vetril Dease. He’s the mysterious dead artist whose haunted paintings drive this satire targeting the self-perpetuating greed of the art world. I may well have been seeing things that aren’t there, not unlike Morf Vandewalt (Jake Gyllenhaal) who starts noticing movement… Velvet Buzzsaw Read More
Aquaman 4 stars
Jason Momoa is a triumph as the sodden superhero, his Arthur Curry initially suffering that paradoxical yet all too familiar mixture of self-doubt and self-belief – before accepting that his place in Atlantean history is a role he was born to inhabit. Gritty and grubby, genial and eager, clever yet sometimes a bit clueless, Arthur… Aquaman Read More
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald 2.5 stars
Welcome to Fantastic Films And Where To Find Them, as somewhere in Crimes of Grindelwald there are several sparkling and compelling stories trying to get noticed, yet sinking under the weight of everything else. Crimes Of Grindelwald has so much beyond its magic and mythical animals: unrequited love, death, guilt, sacrifice, gorgeous 1920s outfits, and a floating silver… Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald Read More
The Nutcracker & The Four Realms 2.5 stars
However enticingly tasty they look, too much refined sugar and clotted cream can give you indigestion, and coming out of the indulgently sweet Nutcracker And The Four Realms what I really wanted was a couple of Rennies. Like the toy soldiers that the villainess brings to life in their droves before the climatic battle, this… The Nutcracker & The Four Realms Read More
The Meg 3 stars
Even as a B-movie The Meg could have been scarier, funnier and sillier. But bitching about it would be like kicking a particularly boisterous, fluffy kitten. It’s quite enjoyable if not particularly memorable. There are a couple of terrific action set pieces, particularly Jonas being pulled through the sea at top speed with the Meg… The Meg Read More
Skyscraper (3D) 3.5 stars
Warning: spoilers ahead if you don’t know how action blockbusters work. Skyscraper is one of those films that manages to combine real thrills and tension with comfort blanket understanding that it’s going to follow a straightforward and successful formula. I genuinely worried about security expert Will Sawyer’s children as they tried to escape from half-way… Skyscraper (3D) Read More
Ocean’s 8 3.5 stars
I can’t be the only person watching Ocean’s 8 who thought Rose Weil’s flower-covered paniered frock, presumably based on those rich Regency ladies who liked to play at being milkmaids, was the best Met Gala look. Played by Helena Bonham Cartier, I mean Carter, Rose is a washed-up fashion designer known for her Edwardian frills… Ocean’s 8 Read More
Solo: A Star Wars Story (Cannes 2018) 3.5 stars
Solo is terrific fun, a blast, a movie that never feels too long. But also doesn’t quite reach the heights it aspires to. WARNING – this is slightly spoilery, including Han and Chewy, so if you want to go into the cinema in blissful ignorance about this and some other plot points, leave now, with… Solo: A Star Wars Story (Cannes 2018) Read More
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society 3.5 stars
There’s a cosiness to the word-count guzzling Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society, in a lie-back-and-think-of-postwar-England kind of way. We know what we’re going to get: fabulous 1940s fashions (wide-leg high waisted jeans, here I come); clattering typewriters; bosom-hoiking landladies; beautiful views. Plus love, loss, and employment for several British national treasures. But it… The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society Read More
The Shape Of Water 5 stars
This is an ode to gods and monsters, and fittingly it is set in the early 1960s – when America has become used to strange creatures on screen, warning us of our failings as a species, or terrifying us into submission. And with so many B-movies allegories for East-West relations, it’s also appropriate that The… The Shape Of Water Read More