Yes there is a plot, and it’s (a) nicely straightforward and (b) nobody mumbles. So if you want to know what happened, grab a coffee, read on, and surely someone will offer you another coffee at the start of every paragraph. (If you’re looking for my 4.5 star review, it’s here)
Richard Cane, CEO of driverless electric car firm Edentech, is going to release a virus from his Primordial Law of Toughness, or P.L.O.T. Device, which will cause everyone to attack each other; leaving a pristine, manly world for Cane and his friends when they venture out of one of his bunkers.
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A bank robbery is taking place – Lieutenant Frank Drebin Jnr enters the bank disguised as a little girl, and saves the day, though Cane’s henchman Gustafson has still managed to slip away and steal the P.L.O.T. Device from a safe deposit box in the bank. Gustafson hands it over to Cane outside.
Chief Davis, head of Police Squad, gives Frank and Ed Hocken Jnr a dressing down for the previous day’s work. The surviving robbers are going to sue while Frank cannot believe he, a cop, is meant to obey the law. Chief Davis tells Frank that Police Squad is at risk of closure because of him; he and Hocken are off the bank job and told they are being sent to investigate a car crash instead.
On their way out, Frank genuflects in front of the office portrait of his father, and asks Frank Snr to send him a sign that he is proud of Frank Jnr: “an owl or something”.
Frank and Ed go to the scene of the car accident. The dead man found inside is called Simon Davenport. Frank thinks he killed himself as there are no skids on the road (meaning he didn’t brake to avoid going over the edge into the quarry lake) and there are also empty pill bottle in the car. Frank also finds a matchbook with a tiger logo.
Back at the office, Detective Barnes tells Frank the robbers are saying they didn’t know each other and were told they could keep the money. Frank asks her to bring one of them in.
Simon’s sister Beth Davenport has come to see Frank. She doesn’t believe it was suicide and is convinced he was murdered. Simon called her the previous night and they’d arranged to meet today. She tells Frank he should speak to Richard Cane. Frank isn’t keen on Beth getting involved, but she tells him she will continue to investigate even if Police Squad thinks it was a suicide.
At a 20 Years of Edentech event Frank meets Richard Cane, to speak to him about Simon Davenport. Cane tells Frank he’s a big fan, and has heard about his work in the bank robbery; men like Frank are a “dying breed”. They both agree the world was better in the past. Cane lights a cigar using a matchbook with the same design – a tiger – as the one Frank found in Simon Davenport’s car. Cane tells Frank it’s from his elite supper club, The Bengal, where men can be men.
The next day a driverless, electric car arrives at Police Squad, a gift from Cane.
They bring in one of the suspected bank robbers, who eventually says they were there to get a safe deposit box. The box was owned by Simon Davenport. Frank realises the robbery and car crash are linked.
At a meeting of billionaires, Cane explains how bad the world has got. He tells them to fix the system (society) they need to switch it off and on again. He shows an experiment they ran in a community centre using the P.L.O.T. Device; the frequency it emits changes human brains so they fight like animals and most are killed. Cane plans to spread it through smart devices, while the billionaires remain safe in Cane’s bunkers to be fed, watered, and entertained by Weird Al Yankovic. They will then emerge into a cleansed world. Called Project Inferno, it will all unfold on New Year’s Eve.
Frank heads to Cane’s club, as he wonders if Davenport had been there the night he died.
At the club Frank shows Simon’s photo to the barman but he doesn’t recognise the man in the picture. Frank is not pleased to see Beth is already there, to investigate Simon’s death. Cane approaches – he doesn’t know Beth is Simon’s sister. While she has a drink with Cane, Frank searches for security footage round the back. Thumping noises fill the club, so Beth distracts Cane by singing scat jazz with the band on stage.
Meanwhile Frank has located the Davenport files and sees footage of Simon having a meeting with Richard Cane, their conversation overheard by an investigative journalist called Douglas O’Reilly from the LA Chronicle.
That night Frank visits Chief Davis – she is furious that he investigated Cane, who donates to many worthy causes. She suspends Frank for two weeks.
Beth turns up at his apartment, wanting to know what he found on the tapes, and suggests dinner. Gustafson, outside, watches them with a heatseeking camera. He is increasingly disgusted by the images he’s seeing as Frank, Beth and Frank’s dog get into what look like various compromising positions.
Frank and Beth have a snowy weekend away in the mountains. They share a hot tub, build a snowman, then find a book of spells and bring it to life, sharing a night of chilly passion together. Eventually they exclude it, sending it into a freezing rage. As it tries to kill them, Beth saves them by pushing it into the hot tub.
Back home, Frank tries to track down O’Reilly. The journalist’s flat is empty but Frank is duped into providing a confession, which turns out to be for O’Reilly’s murder – Frank finds the body in the bedroom. The police arrive but Frank escapes out of the window. Jumping into his car outside he tells it to drive. It starts, but locks itself and goes by a different route – Cane appears onscreen, and explains he has taken control. Frank realises that’s how Cane killed Simon Davenport. Cane tells Frank everything will happen on New Year’s Eve.
Frank cannot escape the runaway car until he manages to bring up the Windows Paperclip on screen and asks it to open the doors. Rolling out of the car, he then heads over to Beth’s house.
You know this isn’t Britain because that bank branch would’ve closed and been turned into a Wetherspoons
She confesses that Simon had told he was working on a device to calm people down but he was worried it could be used to do the opposite. He had told her if anything happened to him she must try to stop the device. Despite her protestations, Frank thinks it means she wasn’t really in love with him but was using him.
Frank gets a call from Ed Jnr, who has found Cane’s head of security, Gustafson, in the bank robbery footage, slipping out the back. They kidnap Gustafson and he wakes up in a hospital bed, where the nurse tells him it is January 2nd. Frank reveals himself and tells him they stopped Cane’s New Year’s Eve plan and Cane is now in custody, and has told them Gustafson killed Davenport and O’Reilly. Gustafson thinks Frank is lying so Frank tells him what will happen to him in prison, and afterwards. Gustafson starts to talk, telling Frank that the plan – to emit the frequency and turn everyone violent – was all Cane’s. It was to happen at midnight on NYE at the WWFC fight, with the device hidden in the new year balls.
The walls fall back and Frank’s colleagues are there recording it all, the hospital just a set. Frank, asked if the confession is legal, says he sometimes has to break the law, and the walls fall back revealing more police recording him. Frank is arrested by Detective Barnes. She tells Frank she built the sets fast by telling city contractors they had to help or they would lose their licences – once again the walls fall back and she is being recorded. Barnes is arrested.
Not long before midnight, at the ponzi-scheme.com arena, the WWFC fight is ongoing in front of a huge crowd. Cane is there as sponsor.
Frank, still wanted for murder as Gustafson’s confession was illegal, is at the arena. Ed gives him earplugs that will block out the frequency, should the P.L.O.T. Device activate.
Beth is also there, in disguise as a brunette, to kill Cane. Cane finds her with various weapons hidden in her hair, having worked out her plan from one of her books. She is tied up and left there.
Frank goes up to the balls and goes headfirst in, spotting the device. However he inadvertently sets off the descent mechanism and the balls slowly begin to drop. His legs are sticking out, but his trousers catch on the mechanism and are ripped off leaving him half naked and still upside down. The TV network continues broadcasting with that section blurred out. The crowd is booing, so Frank leaves the stage, with the P.L.O.T. Device, which is ticking down to midnight.
Cane meets him and tries to convince him not to destroys the device, then sets it off, overriding the timer. In the stadium everyone starts fighting each other.
Cane and his pals escape on motorbikes, while the tied-up Beth, who also has earplugs in, is left at the stadium as he thinks she will soon be killed. Cane also sets up an attack on Frank from the device.
Despite this Frank manages to shoot and fight his way out of the stadium, though when he tries to take a vehicle to pursue them he can’t get it started.
Then he looks up and sees a large owl – his father. Frank, hanging from the owl, chases the motorbikes through the streets, and manages to kill or incapacitate all the henchmen until only Cane is left. With perfect timing, the owl deposits a giant dropping on Crane’s helmet visor, forcing him to crash and land in a fountain.
Dave Bautista appears, speaking Frank’s words to Cane while Neeson goes to the loo, then leaves, but is instantly attacked by the angry hordes.
Frank punches Cane in the stomach, and Cane starts wailing about the pain and staggering around. Frank thinks he has him but Cane has an ace up his sleeve (both sleeves actually), revealing armlets which allow him to fly off. He flies upwards in a vertical straight line but bashes his head on a streetlight and crashes to the ground where he lies in a heap.
Frank arrests him. Beth has managed to escape her bonds and arrives on a bicycle. She goes to shoot Cane but Frank persuades her to put the gun down. Seeing the P.L.O.T. Device in Cane’s pocket, she takes it back and switches the dial from Calm Up to Calm Down. Everyone stops fighting and starts hugging.
At a later date, the head of Police Squad explains that the department has been saved, thanks to Frank’s New Year’s Eve triumph, however he is also undergoing an internal investigation because of his previous behaviour.
As the credits start, Frank and Beth are at a holiday resort called Internal Affairs. Everything freezes, except Beth and Frank who wander round poking everyone wondering what has happened. Frank notices the screen and comes towards us, berating us for watching them, then punches the screen. The credits continue with Frank singing his song for Beth.
There is a post-credits scene, with “the world’s last living entertainer” Weird Al Yankovic (a feature of the original Naked Gun movies), in Cane’s bunker, finding there is no one there for him to perform to.
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