Have you ever seen a more medium sized giant than in the BFG? So misleading! And that’s not even the worst offender. Give me a Steve Jobs, a Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure or a Room any day. Here are my current favourite (because I do love a good film froth) film title rages.
1. John Wick – so in the bar below The Continental, Winston the manager (or as we Brits like to call him, LOVEJOY) calls John Wick JONATHAN which as everyone knows means John Wick should be Jon Wick. Jeez film poster checkers, I bet it was you wasn’t it.
2. A Streetcat Named Bob – that’s the poshest stray I’ve ever seen. And the fattest.
3. Absolutely Fabulous – sweetie darling it was fun to watch but “Quite Good If You’re With Your Mum Friends & a Bit Drunk” would’ve been a more accurate title, if not a very Twitter-friendly one. So glad all the British National Treasures had an absolute ball making it, though.
4. Bad Moms – apparently drinking milk in the supermarket, dancing on one table and standing for election to the school PTA make you really out there in the mom stakes. Honestly I’ve met racier nuns (though admittedly that could’ve been me dressed up for someone’s hen night). Unsurprisingly Bad Moms was written by men. What do they think we do on a night out, knit?
5. Spectre – not a single ghost in it. None! I want my money back.
6. For Your Eyes Only – I saw this in a cinema in Lyme Regis back in the 80s on a family holiday and actually there were several other people in the cinema so no, not for my eyes only AT ALL, Sheena Easton.
7. The Martian – well first off he’s not a Martian he’s an Earthling. Also round these parts even if your ancestors moved somewhere for a new start after the Black Death the locals will still probably consider you an INCOMER even now and will always treat you with a slight frostiness. I’m guessing Martians are no different to us in this respect.