I’m not a fan of people having bits chopped off onscreen even if they’re really evil, in which case chop off all the bits, just do it in another room. But I’ve noticed a trend in movies that takes giving someone the finger to a whole new level. Yes, digit-docking is a thing. You can see… Severance Pay (NSFL: Not Suitable For Lunchtime) Read More
If Gerard Butler Worked In My Office
Let’s face it, office life can be a bit dull. Times have changed and with a new more rigorous business culture you can’t even get pissed at lunchtime and photocopy your boobs anymore without some wet blanket reporting you for ink wastage. So just imagine if a really hot guy worked in your office. Tall, strong,… If Gerard Butler Worked In My Office Read More
Best WTF Movie Moments
I can honestly say I have NEVER had so many imaginary exclamation marks whizzing round in my head since I started reviewing films. I LOVE wtf? moments in movies though. Clunky, major plot hole-causing, or simply unexplained and then never spoken of again, they may be caused by simple errors, bad editing, or just someone a bit dim… Best WTF Movie Moments Read More
Seven Films I’ve Only Seen Half Of
Social media LOVES its 7 hashtags. Currently most popular seems to be #7FavHorrorFilms, though #7FavFastAndFuriousFilms is also appearing (okay I may have made that last one up). But sadly I DO have Seven Films I Only Saw Half Of (sorry I mean #7FavFilmsIOnlySawHalfOf). Some of these I do still mean to go back to. When I get time. Which will be when… Seven Films I’ve Only Seen Half Of Read More
NOISE COMPLAINT? Hell Yeah! John Wick’s Symphony Of Violence & A Poem
Want to see John Wick shooting his load over and over again? OF COURSE YOU DO! The new John Wick Symphony of Violence is filled with deaths from the original John Wick, set to Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture Finale. This is NOT another John Wick: Chapter 2 trailer, as let’s face it, if they drop many more trailers we’ll… NOISE COMPLAINT? Hell Yeah! John Wick’s Symphony Of Violence & A Poem Read More
Films Adaptations That Are Nothing Like The Book – Part 1
I’ve been reading Baba Yaga. It’s a great story but it’s nothing like the film version. (See all the trailers for John Wick: Chapter 2 here)
Happy Friday the 13th!
Obviously by happy I don’t actually mean happy. It is Friday the 13th after all. Just make sure you don’t slip over on the ice today perusing my website, and break your neck. Oh.
I’ve Found The Perfect Free Gift For John Wick’s Favourite Magazine
There’s a glossy-yet-shadowy magazine for assassins coming out this month, and I really hope that a pencil is the free gift with the first issue. (A decent quality pencil, tested to ensure each one can kill three people in a bar before breaking*). The new magazine is called Continental Quarterly and is the in-house publication of… I’ve Found The Perfect Free Gift For John Wick’s Favourite Magazine Read More
Hashtag AdviceForAurora
So on Twitter the hashtag #SelfiesForAurora is trying to change the convo around creepy-stalker-in-space movie Passengers! So I thought I’d do mine. Though #EscapePodForAurora or #MaceForAurora might be more use. What can I say, with great age comes great wisdom. You can read my review of Passengers here. (Yes I know, Chris Pratt is so lovely… Hashtag AdviceForAurora Read More
2016’s Best Supporting Props
Let’s face it, without props films would just be naked people in a room with no furniture and no carpets. Actually that probably is a film already, but it’ll be Danish with subtitles and probably won an award from some made-up festival somewhere. But we need at least one “Best of 2016” list that doesn’t have… 2016’s Best Supporting Props Read More
OMG John Wick has killed Santa!
He knows when you are sleeping! (as if I’d be asleep). He knows when you’re awake! (hell yes). He knows when you’ve been bad or good (bad John, so very bad). So be good for goodness sake (I’ve been practising!). Come on, this is 2016, WORST YEAR ON RECORD, of course Santa turned out to be… OMG John Wick has killed Santa! Read More
Guess What This Film Article is About
Have you ever seen a more medium sized giant than in the BFG? So misleading! And that’s not even the worst offender. Give me a Steve Jobs, a Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure or a Room any day. Here are my current favourite (because I do love a good film froth) film title rages. 1. John Wick… Guess What This Film Article is About Read More